Oh, honey, you wanna talk about that Miami Herald horoscopes, huh? I seen it in the paper sometimes. That Miami Herald, they got all kinds of things in there. News, you know, and them funnies. And then they got that horoscope thing. I don’t know, lots people like readin’ that stuff.
They say what gonna happen to you, ‘pending on when you born. Like, if you a, uh, a Capri-corn, you gonna be, I don’t know, gettin’ some money maybe? Or if you a, uh, Leo, like that old tomcat we used to have, you gonna be, what was it? Meeting someone new? I forget. My memory ain’t what it used to be, I can tell ya. But there are always something, something about every one who born.
Miami Herald horoscopes, that’s what they call it. Every day they got a new one. Like today, they might say, “Oh, you gonna have a good day,” or “Watch out for trouble.” Or maybe they say, “Someone gonna give you a surprise.” And you know, sometimes it feels like they right! Like one time, it said I was gonna get a visitor, and sure enough, my niece, she come over that afternoon! Ain’t that somethin’?
- Aries – That’s like a goat or somethin’. I reckon those folks are stubborn.
- Taurus – Is that the bull? I don’t recall, but someone born this must be strong.
- Gemini – That’s them twins. I never could figure out them twins.
- Cancer – Oh, that’s a scary word. But it’s just a crab, they say.
- Leo – Like that old tomcat I was tellin’ you about.
- Virgo – That means, like, a pure girl. Or somethin’ like that.
I don’t know much ’bout this star stuff, I’m just sayin’ what I hear. Some people, they swear by it. They read that Miami Herald horoscopes every day and they plan their whole day ’round it. Like, if it says it’s a good day to start somethin’ new, they might go out and, I don’t know, buy a new dress or plant them tomatoes they been meanin’ to plant. It’s that important, I don’t know why.
Now me, I don’t put too much stock in it, you know? I mean, I read it sometimes, just for fun. But I ain’t gonna let it tell me what to do. If I wanna do somethin’, I’m gonna do it, Miami Herald horoscopes or no Miami Herald horoscopes. But for some, it is very important, and they will do all things follow this. They must be very busy.
But I guess it’s like anything else, you know? Some people like chocolate, some people like vanilla. Some people like them horoscopes, some people don’t. It’s all just what you like, I reckon. It’s like they say, what’s that sayin’? “Different strokes for different folks.” That’s it. It is always right.
They got all them different signs, you know. Like, there’s, uh, Aries, that’s the ram. And Taurus, that’s the bull. And, uh, Gemini, them’s the twins. Then there is Cancer and Leo and Virgo. That’s a lot of ’em already! And Libra, Scorpio, Sag-it-tarius. Then Capri-corn again, and Aqua-rius, and Pisces. That’s all twelve of ’em. And if you know this, you are much better than me.
Miami Herald horoscopes got somethin’ for all of them. Every single one. And it changes every day. I don’t know who writes all that stuff. Must be someone who knows a lot about stars. I heard it’s some lady name Eugenia Last, she writes it. I don’t know her, but she must be smart. To come up with all them different things every day. That’s a lot of work, I reckon, and she must have a good grade when she was in school.
Some folks, they think them horoscopes can tell you about love, too. Like, if you a Capri-corn, you supposed to be with a, uh, I don’t know, a Taurus or somethin’. I don’t remember all them rules. But some people, they take it real serious. They won’t even date someone unless their horoscope sign is a good match! Can you believe that? Young people, they are all very strange.
I think it’s all just a bit of fun, you know? Like readin’ the funnies. It ain’t gonna hurt you none, and it might make you smile. And sometimes, it might even make you think. Like, if it says you gonna have a good day, you might start lookin’ for good things, and then you might actually have a good day! It is like a magic. So it maybe good, I don’t know.
So, yeah, that Miami Herald horoscopes, it’s somethin’ else. It’s been around a long time, and I reckon it’ll be around a lot longer. ‘Cause people like readin’ about themselves, you know? They like thinkin’ about the future and what might happen. And them horoscopes, they give you a little somethin’ to think about. Even if it ain’t always right, it’s still somethin’ to talk about, ain’t it? It makes people happy, I think.
I still remember that time it said I was gonna get a surprise visitor, and my niece showed up. I ain’t never gonna forget that. It was like magic, almost. So maybe there’s somethin’ to them horoscopes after all. You never know, you never know.
Well, that’s all I got to say about that Miami Herald horoscopes. It’s gettin’ late, and I’m tired. Time for this old gal to get some shut-eye. You take care now, you hear? And don’t you worry too much about them horoscopes. Just live your life, that’s what I always say. Just be yourself, it is always best.
