You know, I heard folks talkin’ ’bout this Aquarius Black for Men. Sounds fancy, huh? Well, I ain’t one for fancy smells, but I reckon some men like that sort of thing. They say it’s for the modern man. What’s a modern man anyway? Back in my day, a man smelled like a man, like sweat and hard work, ya know? But these young’uns, they like these fancy colognes.
So, this Aquarius Black, they say it’s a bold scent. I guess that means it’s strong? Like when you walk into a barn full of, well, you know… manure. Maybe not that strong. I hope not. They say it makes you feel all sophisticated. What is sophistication anyway, is that some kind of food? My grandson, he’s always talkin’ ’bout sophisticated this and sophisticated that. I just tell him to eat his greens.
They say you gotta put it on your “pulse points.” Behind your ears, they say. Why there? Seems like a waste to me. Just splash it on all over, I say. Get your money’s worth! I remember my old man, he used to just use some of that aftershave, the kind that burned your nostrils. He smelled like a real man, I tell ya. This Aquarius Black for Men probably don’t burn like that, it probably smells like flowers or somethin’. Flowers are for girls, that’s what I always said.
- Smells good, I guess
- For the “modern man”
- Put it behind your ears
- Makes you “sophisticated”
- Not like the old days
I saw it comes in a big bottle, 3.4 ounces, they call it. And a little one for travelin’, they say. Like those little bottles of whiskey my neighbor used to carry around. He always said it was for medicinal purposes. I reckon this Aquarius Black for Men is somethin’ like that. Makes ya feel better, maybe? Or makes other folks feel better when they smell ya. Who knows.
They say this stuff, this Aquarius Black for Men, is ideal for the man who “challenges limits.” What’s that even mean? Like, he climbs mountains or somethin’? Or he eats a whole pie in one sittin’? I knew a fella once who could eat a whole watermelon in one go. Maybe he needed this Aquarius Black for Men. He sure did challenge some limits, that one.
I read somethin’ that said this cologne got sea notes and bergamot. Bergamot, sounds like somethin’ my grandma used to put in her tea. And sea notes? Like a whale singin’? Or the ocean waves crashin’? I don’t know. It’s all a bit much for me. Give me the smell of fresh cut grass any day. Or maybe some apple pie bakin’ in the oven. Now that’s a good smell. No need for all this Aquarius Black for Men nonsense.
Then it says the middle note is rosemary, they say it is. That’s for cookin’, right? I put that in my stew sometimes. So this cologne smells like the ocean and stew? That’s a strange combination. And they say other colognes smell like the ocean too, like this “Blue Day Chanel” and “Aqua De Joe.” And somethin’ called “Wild Child” that smells like figs. Figs are good, I like figs. Maybe that one ain’t so bad. There’s one called “Oolong Infini” too, sounds like a disease to me.
I guess if you’re into that sort of thing, this Aquarius Black for Men might be for you. If you wanna smell like the sea and some herbs and feel all fancy. Me, I’ll stick to the smell of my garden after it rains. That’s a smell that makes me feel good. And it don’t cost nothin’. Just like my old man used to say, “The best things in life are free.” Or maybe he said, “The best things in life make you sneeze.” I can’t rightly remember. It was a long time ago.
Anyways, this whole Aquarius Black for Men thing, it’s probably just another one of them fads. Like those hula hoops, or them pet rocks. They come and they go. But a good man, a hard-workin’ man, he don’t need no fancy cologne to smell good. He just needs to be himself. That’s my two cents, anyway. You can take it or leave it.
