Scrolling through social media, it’s easy to get the impression that everyone is living a calm and carefree life, unruffled by the trivial troubles of existence. But behind those seemingly serene posts, there’s often a turmoil of messy, heart-wrenching reality.
I’ve received countless messages from anxious high schoolers. There’s the freshman worried about not being good at science, the sophomore under immense pressure from parents, and the senior, almost numb, fixated on the (college entrance exam). Their is palpable – "What if I don’t do well? What if I can’t meet expectations?"
Most of them talk about the weight of their parents’ expectations. "My parents have given so much for me, and my cousins are all successful. The thought of not living up to their hopes is unbearable."
Life isn’t a walk in the park for twenty-somethings either. Out of school and into the workforce, they can’t rely on their parents anymore. The daily grind of commuting, office politics, and dealing with difficult people can be soul-crushing. Then there’s the added pressure of dating – balancing personal desires with parental expectations. It’s like navigating a minefield of expectations and calculations.
One girl told me about her boyfriend, and I couldn’t help but think, "Is this dating, or fortune-telling?" The amount of effort and analysis that goes into it is exhausting.
And then there are those in their thirties, who are absolutely drained. With aging parents, young children, and a career at a critical juncture, the weight of responsibility is immense. They have to manage relationships, raise kids, and keep an eye on their marriage. It’s like being a superhero without the cape.
I once listened to a friend in her thirties talk about her "life wisdom." She had it all planned out, but looking at her, I saw fatigue and weariness. She was burning the candle at both ends.
Social media only exacerbates the feeling of being overwhelmed. We see everyone else living these perfect lives and feel compelled to present our own lives in a similarly idealized manner. But is it worth the effort? Is it worth the exhaustion?
The truth is, we’re not as important as we think we are. Our parents, partners, and colleagues will survive if we don’t meet every expectation. We don’t have to be perfect; we just have to do our best.
So, let’s give ourselves a break. Let’s stop trying to be everything to everyone and just be ourselves. It’s okay to be imperfect, to have a messy life. That’s what makes us human. And when we do that, we’ll not only feel less exhausted, but we’ll also make others around us feel more at ease.
